Thursday, January 05, 2006

You are not in America - now get over it

I like Americans in America. They're personable, hospitable, kind hosts. Very accomodating, unusually relaxed (unless you're in New York) and contrary to popular opinion tollerant. So what the hell happens to them when they leave.

There were a few hings that made the hackles rise, but one example riled more than any other. Now, you have to remember that Grenadans ain't the hardest working folks in the world and frankly, if I was them, nor would I be and what I am in awe of is their complete lack of apology for the lifestyle.

Take for instance the following conversation in the supermarket half an hour after they opened. In England shelves would be stacked.

'Have you got any mince'

'no man, de man has to chop de meat up, gives me ha' an hour'

thinks 'mmmmm, I may come back this afternoon then'

Anyway the American's. We pitched up at the mall at 9.40 on the 2nd January (a public holiday) and it was closed, but due to open at 10.00. Five minutes later a couple walked up and asked:

'Is the mall closed' spoken in one of those really whiney American accents which seems to accentuate when they're a bit irate.

'Er no it's open at 10'

'What is it with these people, everything's closed'

'It's a public holiday'

'Goddam, yesterday everything's closed, today everything's closed. What is it with these people' said in real anger

'You're in someone else's fucking country you arseholes, shut the fuck up, you whiney yanks. THESE PEOPLE...THESE PEOPLE are your hosts. I know you invaded Grenada 25 years ago because they voted a left wing government in to power, but let them be, Jesus.'

I didn't say the last bit, but I thought it really hard.

We bumped in to them a little later in a coffee shop:

'What you don't even have a bagel?' - incredulous open mouthed look. Jesus wept.

8 comments:

Kayfer Kettle said...

AHM HUNGRY JEFF!

AH WANNA CHEESEBURRRGERRRR!!

I feel a bit bad taking the piss because I know some good Americans...but go on then! Why not??!!

K x

Linda Mason said...

Funny, funny, Six. Happy new year to you and yours. Hope the little fella settles back down to his rountine again soon.

Span Ows said...

Your 'thinking it really hard' could have caused negative waves to penetrate their (presumably thick) heads.

Crispin Heath said...

As I said Kate, I like Americans in America, it's just I tend to come across scrotes when they're out of their own domain.

Crispin Heath said...

Mags, thank you he's actually slipped back in rater well. He woke up at 8 this morning which was blissful. Made me late for work but blissful none the less.

Crispin Heath said...

Span,

I bloody hope so.

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