'American food' or 'Why Americans are enormous'

We part self catered while we were away and an awful lot of the branded goods including things like the pasteurised milk, orange juice etc. was imported from the US. My Dad and I spent most of the morning laughing at the marketing claims plastered all over the packets. It's a marvellous example of what a massively under-regulated market can truly get away with. i.e. as close to lying as you can possibly get away with.

There were some ludicrous examples, the peanuts were covered in 'South Beach diet' flashes, but if you ate a handful you were probably well over your 6g of salt a day. The bacon had 0% cabohydrates, but dry fry a couple of slices in a pan and you had enough saturated fat to fur up Lance Armstrong's arteries for good. Do you want your orange juice, with PULP, NO PULP, HALF PULP, SEMI PULP, DEMI PULP or WHO FUCKING CARES? Bagels were SO 0% everything, they had to add a little bit of extra packaging to get all the claims on.

My personal favourite though was the claim made on the side of the 'Lactaid Lactose free homogenised pasteurised milk' - '3 portions of dairy a day can support a calorie controlled diet' - brilliant in it's weaslieness, says nothing whatsoever, but somehow tries to sell, not just the fact that dairy if fabulous but also that 3 portions of it would be the best option. I guess I could go on a calorie controlled diet and just eat cheese, I may get scabies as a result though ah well.