After thinking about it last night I've made a decision that this should really become of some therapeutic value. But how?
Some years ago I attended an acupuncturist - Richard Davies - for a few months. Nicky (wife) and Jo (sister-in-law) had been going for months. Richard actually inspired Jo to give up her big, city job and become an acupuncturist herself - to be frank he was very good.
Anyway I thought I'd go along to find out whether he could do anything about my long standing asthma and hayfever conditions. He couldn't - the breathing difficulties became no better whatsoever, however he did something more wonderful.
One of Richard's great skills was his therapeutic counseling. He would never admit it himself but he was an amazing listener and you were able to talk things through in great detail.
Now don't misunderstand me, I didn't have any deep psychological issues that I needed to work through, however as some of you who know me will know, I'm a big thinker. Not one of life's great philosophers or brainstormers, but I can think about trivial issues like why a pigeon would choose to change direction at the exact time it does, in minute detail - I mean why? It's not got anything on has it? It's full up and doesn't need to eat, so why decide to turn round then? What are it's motives?
And therein lay my problem, these aren't things I would ever talk to anyone about, because a) They're only really interesting to me b) I may be committed to hospital or c) Nicky may be pushed to the brink of divorce. So these ideas and thoughts lay there in my brain, they were never externalised and therefore became what I term 'junk thought', things that are in your head that basically just make a mess.
Then, along came Richard.
Now I paid the guy Â£35 a session and the asthma thing wasn't working frankly, so I started talking to him about these absurd musings. And it was the most liberating thing I've ever done. I became more clear headed, far less stressed and generally lighter in my life all round. But, then I stopped going for a few weeks and he moved away and I was left with no outlet again.
Now I've found a bit of an outlet for this on the BBC Five Live UK Message Board but there's some shit in my head that couldn't even be posted up there, after all it's an open forum and as I said earlier I could be committed to hospital.
So here I am, in a closed forum and this is where I'm going to get all that junk thought out. In fact I think (If I can work out how) I may rename the blog so bye bye to 'The various ramblings of Six' thank you for being my blog name.
Thank you to David, Gavin and Span for visiting the site so far. I fully understand if you never want to darken my blog again.