Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Things I never wanted as a kid!
The last episode of TOTP is to be aired on Sunday. Some say it's the death of an institution. I say...well actually, I'm really not that bothered. I don't remember TOTP being a defining part of my youth. Yes it was around and yes we watched it sometimes. My Dad's in the music business so he regularly had bands on there, but despite that, it was never 'destination television' as a wanky TV exec. would call it these days.
Ten other things I never did as a kid.
1. I never wanted a 'Chopper' or a 'Grifter' - I was perfectly happy with my yellow 'Raleigh Whateveritwascalled'. For one, it was lighter and you could do miles better jumps on it and two, who's going to nick a 'Raleigh Whateveritwascalled', it didn't even have a proper name for God's sake.
2. I never wanted a Scalextric - nope Aurora for me. Same concept, but the cars were smaller, faster and they stayed on the track at full speed for more than 3 seconds.
3. I never had a pair of Farahs - well they were shit weren't they.
4. I never watched Tiswas - My hatred of Chris Tarrant started at age 6 and anyway when Noel tidy beard was on the other side there was no competition. However...
5. I never fancied swapping anything on Swap Shop - even as a child it always struck me that the kids that got on the phone were pressured in to swapping for something that was vastly inferior to what they had on offer.
6. I never had an action man - In retrospect this may have been my pacifist mother's influence, but I can't ever remember wanting one either. Maybe she violently banged it out of me in a fit of uncharacteristic pique.
7. I never wanted a Waddle/Hoddle perm - despite them being all the rage, everyone always secretly knew that the perm at the back, was rubbish. I did however go on to have a mohawk like Jimbob out of Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine (see above). I'll post a picture of me one day.
8. I never wanted a puffball skirt - nuff said.
9. I never watched a single episode of the 6 million dollar man - I have no idea why, completely passed me by.
10. I never really wanted to play football - I wanted to play that sport that Dad swore at on the telly, throughout the late 70s. It sounded exciting and made you cross. I was certainly excitable and a little prone to getting cross. It looked like much more fun and involved far more mud. Dad took me to the rugby club as soon as I was old enough, aged 7.