Monday, July 17, 2006

Be careful out there in cyberspace

First I'd just like to say hello to Jane, William, Colin, Bob and Cathy.

Now as far as I knew I had a readership of around, oh, 12 people. That's a bit of a cheat as well, because I knew you all from other cyberspace outings. Plus of course, there's my mate Chris, hello Chris hope you're well and possibly Rob and Mary, hello to you two if you're reading this.

Now. We travelled up to Dundee this weekend for my Aunt Cathy's 60th birthday. It was a stonking day for a party, lovely and sunny, but not too hot and with a rather nice cooling breeze coming off the Tay.

My Uncle Bob had sent an invitation in April to the 'surprise' party, so when we got lost driving there - all my fault, stupid man frailties - I panicked a little. The party started at 3pm and there we were buggering about in Dundee city centre as the clock chimed. Now I admit I hadn't gleaned enough information as to the nature of the surprise, so I had horrible visions of everyone hiding behind sofas, urgently whispering, 'where are Nicky, Crispin and the boys, I tell you if they bugger this up I'll...'.

In the event, they'd had to tell Cathy 2 weeks prior as she was planning a trip to Malaysia, so we arrived relaxed. Well as relaxed as we could be following the enormous dressing down I'd had for getting us lost - actually we didn't really get lost, we didn't really know where we were going to start with, something I hadn't mentioned to Nic until we reached Dundee (it's a bigger place than I remembered).

Anyway that's all beside the point. We all exited the car and walked in to the house, something that now takes a military strategist to execute effectively. As we were walking in to the sitting room to dump, the car seat, the bag, the cocoon, blankets, Eben's snacks, a kitchen sink, a small Vietnamese stowaway etc. my Uncle Bob casually said 'Jane's a big fan of your weblog'.

I stopped short of dropping Louis who I had in one hand and the kitchen sink that was perched precariously on a shoulder, but turned round in what I imagine was a completely open mouthed, staggered expression. 'Pardon'

'Yes we were all looking at it last night'.

'Pardon, what, er, how come?'

At that point my cousin Jane said 'I just came across it'

'Eh!!!! How come'

'Couldn't you just google your name to find it' said my Auntie Cathy

'Well not really I've never stated my real name on there and I write under a pseudonym'

As an aside, if you do google my name you will find a website and various other references for an outward bound centre (in Scotland) run by another Crispin Heath and then 4 links down a comment I left on the BBC website regarding the Tony and Gordon 'love in' that constituted the last Labour party election broadcast. I'm really not happy that of all the comment I've made about UK news stories online, that that should be the one that google pitches up. It's an example of me at my most pompous and actually not what I now really believe. Damn the Internet.

'How did you find it?'

'I just came across it while I was surfing' said Jane

'How did you know it was mine?'

'I think I saw your picture'

Now that's double lucky, because although I have posted my picture on here I think it's only been two or three times, so Jane must have happened to land on the page on the day I'd posted my photo. Unless of course you're a really dedicated surfer and read every single line of the pages you land on. Actually Jane you can answer that one, there are so many questions I should have asked but didn't.

Just for the record, there are currently just over 88,000,000 host names registered in the world, of which around 43,000,000 are active. Add in to that the timeliness and it's a pretty random event.

So as I stated earlier welcome to the Scottish branch of my family. Really enjoyed the party.

And Jane as I said - leave a comment.


Lucy said...

Lol - I think somone must have told them, but if it is for real then be careful what you say guys!
Or just delete all the evidence on a regular basis.

Six Years Late said...

See there is method in your madness Lucy. I can guarantee you that they weren't told though as none of my family read this. Well maybe they all do, but who knows now.

Curmy said...

Six, that's very brave of you to travel to Scotland with 2 small children.

Gavin Corder said...

It doesn't matter if they do read it, does it?

Six, you've drip fed us enough about yourself, whether on the boards, this blog or ours, to have known your name (which, by the way sounds more like a place you wouldn't want to frequent after dark) :-), your wife's name, your son's names and ages, your business type, your business postal address, home is in Streatham Common but you are not on our Christmas card lists since we don't know the full address, your educational history in home counties (Surrey?) prep then grammar, one adored brother 4 years younger...I could go on!

But you'll always be Six to me!

Though why are you surprised people who have actually met you, should recognise you I don't know!

But do you know the most bizarre thing? I don't know your email address as you always post anonymously through my blog not directly!

Six Years Late said...


Actually I'll have to admit that I had it extraordianarily easy. I had to be in the office as I've been so behind after having so much time off ill and went up on Friday night and back last night.

My wife organised ages ago to do the trip in 2 sections. She drove to her parents in warrington which is roughly half way, then drove with her mum up to Edinburgh where we all stayed with my sister in law and then up to the party on Saturday. She's done the same on the way back and the whole thing's taken 5 days.

To tell you truth she's always done it since Eben was little, she'd often get together with her sister in Warrington who came the opposite way. All the driving is done between about 7 in the evening and 11 so the boys are asleep, or at least that's the theory, Eben takes longer to go off these days.

People often say she's brave, but she's never seen it as a hugely big deal.

Six Years Late said...

Hey gavin,

I realise that if you were a regular reader you'd know me inside out, but Jane would have had to get it from one post and that is a bolt out of the blue.

I didn't realise that I posted anonymously on your blog i'll email my details. that's weird.

Jane said...

hahahahah, maybe i did google your name whilst mindlessly procrastinating on the internet. And now that i know your blog, here is the link to mine:
great to see you guys again anyway! and keep up the cool posts!

Six Years Late said...

You bloody didn't, I've had another look. Mind you I did find another lame arse contributioin i made to the OBO commentary on the Guardian website during last years Ashes. Read over 10 David'll love this.,,1542527,00.html

It turned out to be one of the best finishes of all time.

Gavin Corder said...

Blimey! Jane looks exactly like you Six! But pretty!

Curiously my in-laws are from Warrington too.

Cheers for that email, I can send you bits of code without gaps - woo hoo! Or offensive messages...hmmmm interesting possibilites...

Six Years Late said...

By the way Jane, am I being thick I can't leave a comment on your blog. Anyway, only really to say I'm very jealous of you seeing Morrisey, i'm even more annoyed that he was actually good.

Six Years Late said...

Well that's very intersting Gavin, no one's ever said that before. My parental genes appear to have been shared out entirely separately, I take after my Dad and look almost exactly the same as him when he was my age and have done since I was about 15. My brother got handed my mother's genes and he looks uncannily like my maternal grandfather.

I remember going to my grandparents' flat shortly after he had died to visit my Grandmother and my brother happened to sit in my grandfather's chair. We'd been there about half an hour when I glanced across to the chair and got cold shivers. For a split second I thought it was my grandfather, same shape, height, crossed legs, the way he held his hands it was uncanny.

If you put the two of us together there are very few shared characteristics, we both have a big nose mind.

Anonymous said...

You need to be a member to leave a comment.
morrissey was fantastic as were most of the bands i saw at roskilde.
i dont think we look alike at all! where did i he get that idea??

Curmy said...

Well all I can say, Six, is that your wife is fantastically organised !

colin said...

hi crispin, was great to see you and your family at the weekend. i didnt know about your blog until jane told me a few days ago...
anyway, glad you enjoyed the party it was a great turnout for mum.
hope to see you again soon
ps you can look at my myspace here - : )

Six Years Late said...

It was good to see everyone mate, I never actually got to talk to you about Sanctuary, but good on you for cracking it. I mentioned to William that we should get together end of August once holidays are out of the way for a BBQ or lunch or something.

Six Years Late said...

Curmy, she's become the most organised person in the world.

When are you going to get your own blog by the way, or have you got one already?

Curmy said...

Six, I don't think my blog would be very interesting. It would consist of arguements with my 90 year old mother who's in a home, trying to prevent my semi retired OH from turning the house into a mixture of a boat yard and a golf shop ! and recording the things my daughters do to turn my hair grey. ie Elder D has just packed in her job and gone travelling with boyfriend until mid March.

Lucy said...

Sounds just perfect for blogging Curmy.

Six Years Late said...

That's exactly what I thought Lucy

Curmy said...

Oh dear, you flatter me ! I'm not sure I'm good enough to set it up , and I'm sure you'd get bored with it after a while.
I spend too long mucking about on the 'puter as it is.
If you don't mind, Six, I'll add anything world shattering to the end of one of your blogs.

Lucy said...

Her blog gets 3000 readers a day - blimey!

Lucy said...

Six you are so going to love this petiteanglaise girl!
"21. I discovered clubbing in my final year of university; chose Sasha over a first."

Span Ows said...

dooce etc...

Lucy, I sent a message to her wishing her luck (petiteanglaise)

Get on with it curmy!

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