Saturday, January 17, 2009

Added a Twitter app to my page

I know it sounds ridiculous but updating the blog just got too much with my new job and home and all that entails and I'm using Twitter because it's so much easier an interface, so I've added to my blog on the right hand side, so you can follow me there much more easily.


lucy said...

twittering for Murray I see...

Jeepers I actually typed Henman just there and damn nearly posted it too.

Paul said...

Hey, I can be a virtual stalker!

Span Ows said...

where is it then?...or is it removed due to being complete pants?

Glad all is OK with new home and job etc...

be good!

Span Ows said...

Ah...there it is...3 inches to the right of where I posted before :-/

lucy said...

"Chatting with my wife on Facebook on the other side of the room...."

I have a problem in the real world that i speak my mind too often too bluntly and it offends people cos they find the truth too painful.

But I'm going to do the same here.
This is not meant as critisism, just heartfelt empathy for your wife who loves you so much.
Does not the emotional baggage you carry stop you two having the happiness you both deserve?

Look back over your blog the things you have shared here, I don't think you realise how much you have subconciously spelt out what the real problem is.
Anger at yourself for not being the perfect person you want to be seen to be.
Anger at your mum for getting ill,
anger at her for dying and leaving you.
anger at your dad for re marrying so soon, to a beautiful young woman.
Anger at not being as successful as your dad.
You mentioned how jealous you were of your children having a mum.
Is it not anger that your wife loves them and not just you, that while they are so young and needy they get far more of her?

Well its said now and hey I'm a nurse; causing discomfort sometimes has to be done to start the healing process.
You have two beautiful boys who need their mum and dad to show how much they love each other and them, so face your hatred of your self and learn to accept the *real you* warts and all.
Your wife already does.

Crispin Heath said...

Hello Lucy,

It's an interesting point you make and probably correct in terms of the context of what you've read, but you'll note that I stopped posting regularly on this blog about a year and a half ago. The reason for that is I needed less of an outlet for how I felt and felt more comfortable with myself. I went througha bit of a directionless period opf my life for 3 or 4 years in which I lost an awful lot of focus, but I've done alot to correct that. I've changed my job and now do somnething I love. I moved house to somewhere I love. I lost a lot of weight and got fit and felt a lot better. I stopped beating myself about not being my Dad because one he's got his flaws himself which I now see and also I'm never going to acheieve what he has. He just got awarded an MBE which I'm immensely proud of but not jealous of, because I know, what he did to get it is not in any way within my capabilities and that's fine by me. The cancer has made me more focussed on what's important.

I am a very different person to the one that blogged then.

For a start I don't hide behind a pseudonym. I exist in multiple locations on the social web as myself now not sixyearslate as you can see from the link and three pages of contacts below:

I'm very confident about what I do now, I've got past the insecurities of my past.

Yes my wife and I have had a hard time of it, but it's far better than it was a few years ago and just to put the Facebook Tweet in context. I was sat behind her in the room and we were having a joke about it and that was very much a reflection of that joke.

How are you though?


Anonymous said...

Sorry - Glad to hear it was just a joke!