Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ships that argue in the night

Well, 2 children has really kicked like a mule. Nicky's finding things extraordinarily difficult at the moment. Eben's a handful, to put it lightly. It doesn't help that everyone tells us he's unusually hard work, he's 2 and a half and is unwilling to do anything that isn't on his own terms. Louis is a dream baby, if he wasn't I'm not quite sure how Nic would cope, she's only just managing as it is.

Problem is I'm being next to useless, nothing I'm doing seems to be relieving any of the pressure and the smile seems to have left Nic's face permanently. Problem really all comes down to tiredness, if we had more sleep we'd be able to cope better.

I'm seriously doubting whether the 4 children we had in mind will ever become a reality, i'm not sure we'd survive.

16 comments:

Lucy said...

The memories come flooding back, I don't think I will ever forget completely. Only for me the baby was far from dream, he was the one that makes you decide 'never again'.
You are being a help to Nic. The moaning and complaining you are recieving is her release valve, if it wasn't for you getting it, the boys would suffer.

IsobelMagsBuchan said...

It is the tiredness and nothing else and the funny thing is that you forget very quickly, just how tired you get, biology see, nobody would ever do it again if you remembered, like labour pains!

Two isn't twice the work it's four times the work but I am told by friends who have gone on to have four and five (and more!) that it actually gets easier the more you have. I can't quite work that one out on the grounds that having a constant supply of washing and ironing cannot be easy and cooking for that many is a chore not a joy.

You will both be fine in the longer term, it's just getting through each day that's the hard bit! Good luck to both of you. xx

Six Years Late said...

Thank you both.

Mags i know what you mean abut the washing. I'd forgotten how much a baby generates.

I did chuckle to myself he other day. Both the boys and my wife had tonsilitis, Eben had a horrendous ear infection as well and in the middle of it all I put a load on that contained clothes covered in a full house of blood, sick, pee, pooh and ear wax. Remind me again why we have children exactly?

Gavin Corder said...

It does get easier with more of them. "Right who's on star wishes tonight?" Your turn etc.

Mags don't EVER mention ironing to Mrs C unless someone's got an interview or wedding to attend!

Six it's character building - your character, mate!

Eben's being naughty because he's two. He's finding himself as a person with a separate identity from his mum. At the same time he's been replaced (well hasn't but he'll feel that he has). So he's vacillating between these two humungous emotions. Me Big Boy - pride. Me Big Boy - not mummy's special baby.

Sounds silly I know but get him a baby doll. He can torture that and feel much better for it. And at the very least he won't do it to Louis... BTW this is not my silly idea, serious child psychologists advocate it.

Gavin Corder said...

Oh and you mean you didn't WANT blood, sick, pee, pooh and ear wax? What a strange man! Just as well you didn't join the army!

Lucy said...

'Why do we have chidren'
Thats a bit deep and philosopical isn't it?
My first was the result of his fathers irresponsible passion. The second was a sibbling for the first.
Gavin I like the doll thing. It fits in with the idea of naming the emotion and chanelling it effectively. I did some sessions of 'painting our feelings' .
Could you let Eben do things on his own terms Six? When they are really wilful it does become a cat and mouse game. Letting them think they are getting it their way is quite an art form but can be effective.

David Citizen of the world said...

WEll I've got some time on my hands. How about I come over and babysit while you take your good lady out on the tiles for a night ?

Span Ows said...

Yes Six, all those clothes covered in a full house of blood, sick, pee, pooh and ear wax etc...and then there's the baby clothes as well!

It gets easier because the elder kiddywinks help out...HONEST...

If you really want to help take Eben out a lot (maybe you do) park, car rides whatever (this also doubles as a get them to sleep cert!)...make him feel he's Daddy's boy.

Six Years Late said...

Gavin, he has got the doll. There's actually not too much torture involved, he's actually very nurturing. To tell you the truth I think he's taking things about as well as you could expect doesn't mean we're any less tired though. Lucy yes cat and mouse sounds right.

can you tell it's first thing in the mrning and nothing's gone wrong yet.

Six Years Late said...

Span, yes I'm taking him out as muh as possible, it'd been a lot of fun actually

Lucy said...

First thing in the morning is the best part if the day Six. The sun is streaming through the window, its quiet [yep its quiet!] See it does get better, they do learn to sleepin eventually...

Les Paul Junior said...

I've got four kids. When they're tiny it can be a living hell especially where lack of sleep is concerned. They do grow up eventually and when they do, you'll wonder where the years have gone. Today is the birthday of my middle daughter. It doesn't seem 17 years since she was born and I can't remember half of what has happened since then!

Keep going : it will pass.

Gavin Corder said...

Oh just re-read your title. So long as you ships argue in the night, all is well... passing is bad karma.

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